What the Fuck? History Class Edition

So, the history elective I’m taking this year is US History since 1945. It involves lots and lots of reading (yuck), but also lots and lots of interesting debates in class (yay). Already we’ve had intense thought-provoking discussions on the use of the atomic bomb, the Cuban Missile Crisis, and Vietnam. This new unit we’re covering is all about gender and the return to domesticity in the 1950s. As you can imagine, I’m really excited.

The assignment for Monday is to read an excerpt of Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique.

A page and a half actually of The Feminine Mystique… followed by fourteen pages of a man’s take on The Feminine Mystique. There will be no more Betty Friedan reading after that.

Seriously. What the fuck?

Don’t Miss Today’s Headline!

Exciting news! Remember Capt. Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger, the American hero pilot who safely landed a commercial airplane on the Hudson River earlier this year? Did you ever think to yourself, “Man, that guy Sully was incredible. I wonder what he’s up to now that all the media coverage has died down.”

Then you’ll want to read AM New York’s front page article to find out that Sully’s been having great sex!

Seriously?

While I am indeed happy for Sully (and his wife), and while I appreciate that this article rejects the no-hot-sex-after-35 stereotype, I really don’t want to walk out of the subway at 7:30 in the morning and be confronted with this “news.” Believe it or not, there were a few important world events today.

(The healthcare crisis, the war in Afghanistan — ringing any bells?)

Transgender Day of Remembrance: Recommended Reading

Today is the Eleventh Annual Transgender Day of Remembrance. There’s great reading all over the place.

Questioning Transphobia; Shapely Prose; Shakesville; The Curvature; gudbuytjane; Feministing; TransGriot (and Monica again at Global Comment).

Rachel at Deeply Problematic says it nicely:

This is not the only day to recognize and fight transmisogyny and cissexism. If you are cis, you need to consider the privilege that you have just by existing. Think about the danger cis women are constantly in just because we are women. Trans women face exactly that danger, but their trans status makes them many times more vulnerable.

To the dead, you are not forgotten. And to the living, let us work together so that there may be no more names.

I just came from the masturbation workshop!

This week we celebrated “Love Your Body Week” at Grinnell, hosted by the Feminist Action Coalition. Yay! There were (and still are) a ton of great events including a film screening and discussion, a fat activism workshop, open mic night, Grinnell Monologues (comparable to the Vagina Monologues), queer sex-ed, and my personal favorite, two masturbation workshops! It really was very comforting to see how well-attended these events actually were. I think the week did a lot to dispel the myths of apathetic college students across the country.

I think one of the best things about the week (and, coincidentally, about this blog) is that most of the events weren’t strictly serious, stuffy, or overzealous. Who says learning about your vagina has to be uncomfortable or boring? Basically, congratulations to all the humorous feminists on campus, and all of those who got over their fear of humorous feminists. Let’s keep on dispelling more myths (and yes, I probably will use this term several times. Sorry).

Finally, I really appreciated the atmosphere of communal learning that was pretty apparent in all the workshops I attended. Obviously, most people came from different backgrounds. Some were really familiar with all of the ideas being bandied about, but some, particularly at the very well attended masturbation workshop, had received very little education on such taboo topics. The fact that students who knew more were completely willing to help out those who didn’t was super refreshing. What was more refreshing was the fact that women (who attended the female identified masturbation workshop, I have no idea what went on at the male identified one) were not helping each other out of obligatory sisterhood, but out of actual desire.

I do have one question though. It seems as if I am encountering a barrage of social justice-y causes, open dialogue, and fun terms like “doing gender,” “dispel the myth,” and “social construct” just in the nick of time- before I enter the real world. Why does it have to be that way? What If we taught these terms, habits, and ideals before having them hurriedly shoved in our faces? This has been bothering me a lot lately. Obviously this isn’t going to happen any time soon given the other pressing problems in our educational system, but what is so wrong about introducing the concept of loving your body to grade school students? What if these so-crazy-they-just-might-work ideas had a place in every elementary school curriculum? We would probably live in a much more understanding environment, where no one would need to ask in a college class what “the gender binary system” is.

dyyyyyspeeeellllll mmmmmmyyyyythhhhhhsssssssssss.
I am so sorry for the above display of crazy.

Emergency Phonebanks Against the Stupak-Pitts Amendment

Tonight (11/17) and Thursday (11/19) night from 6 to 9 pm, NARAL Pro-Choice New York will host phonebanks against the ridiculously anti-choice Stupak-Pitts Amendment in the healthcare reform bill. You’ll speak with voters and connect them to their Senators, so they can hear directly from constituents who oppose the amendment.

Phonebanks will be held at the NARAL offices, but you can also participate from anywhere as long as you have internet and a phone. The folks at NARAL will guide you through it.

Contact community organizer Lalena Howard at lhoward@prochoiceny.org or 646-520-3506 to RSVP.

My latest internet obsession

Food Porn Daily. It’s an instant pick-me-up (though not veg friendly).

Help Scarleteen!

We talk a lot about sex here at Women’s Glib, and also about sex education: how many students don’t get it at all, and how if they do, it’s generally shitty (though we have had some positive experiences). Scarleteen is a website that provides, as phrased in their byline, “sex ed for the real world,” and they’re damn good at it. I’ve visited the site many times for my own sexual queries.

Scarleteen consistently and accurately answers real teens’ questions about sex and sexuality. And they don’t just write about the easy, fact-based stuff (HIV and other sexually transmitted infections, pregnancy prevention, menstrual cycles) — they are boldly confronting socially uncomfortable issues of consent, masturbation, queer sexualities, body image, rape and sexual abuse. The site is directed by Heather Corinna, whose essay in Yes Means Yes, an “immodest proposal” of a young woman’s first sexual encounter that’s brimming with desire and enthusiasm as opposed to shame, brought me to joyful tears.

It’s a badass site, and it needs your help.

You might not know is that Scarleteen is the highest ranked online young adult sexuality resource but also the least funded and that the youth who need us most are also the least able to donate. You might not know that we have done all we have with a budget lower than the median annual household income in the U.S. You might not know we have provided the services we have to millions without any federal, state or local funding and that we are fully independent media which depends on public support to survive and grow.

You also might not know Scarleteen is primarily funded by people who care deeply about teens having this kind of vital and valuable service; individuals like you who want better for young people than what they get in schools, on the street or from initiatives whose aim is to intentionally use fearmongering, bias and misinformation about sexuality to try to scare or intimidate young people into serving their own personal, political or religious agendas.

I highly encourage you to donate if you can.

Choices: Adoption

The lovely NARAL Pro-Choice New York has an awesome event lined up.

Choices: Adoption
Wednesday, November 18th
7:00 pm – 9:00 pm
NARAL Pro-Choice NY, 470 Park Avenue South, 7th Floor, NYC
(on Facebook)

NARAL Pro-Choice New York in partnership with co-sponsor Spence-Chapin present “Choices: Adoption” on Wednesday, November 18th. “Choices: Adoption” will highlight the work being done to ensure that all people have access to and are supported in the process of adoption.

Presenters will share the work they do to ensure that birth mothers are heard, that professionals are trained to include adoption when options counseling, that the socioeconomic factors underlying transracial adoption are discussed and that all individuals and families, regardless of race, sexual orientation and class are recruited as adoptive parents.

Presenters include:
Antoinette Williams, Assistant Director of Domestic Adoption at Spence-Chapin
Marci Lieber, MSW, Healthcare Advocate at Spence-Chapin
Molly HyoJung Bidol, LMSW, Counselor, Coach, Consultant on Transracial Adoption

The event is free, wheelchair accessible, and open to all with RSVP to Lalena Howard at lhoward@prochoiceny.org or 646-520-3506. Bring ID to get into the building.

Keep track of all NARAL’s cool events with their online calendar.

Blog Note

Silvia and Katie will no longer be regular contributors to the blog, mostly because of time and stress issues. Should they ever want to contribute any guest posts, I would welcome them wholeheartedly! Women’s Glib loves you.

Saying No

You may have noticed that blog updates have been infrequent of late. I can’t speak for other contributors, but for me this lack of writing has much to do with my stress level. I’m applying to college, and I’m taking a lot of interesting and damn challenging classes.

There’s a lot I’ve had to be proud of recently: I’m finished with a couple applications; my modern dance classes have made my body feel awesome, limber and strong; I’m happy with my grades thus far; I’ve amped up my work with NARAL Pro-Choice NY; this week is my one-year anniversary of dating my boyfriend.

But I’ve noticed that it’s hard for me to take a break. There’s so much I want to do — not only do, but do perfectly — that it’s hard to carve myself any time for just nothing. It’s hard to keep my mental and emotional health strong.

Stress is just as much a feminist issue as its partner-in-crime, choice. As Courtney Martin suggests in her book, women feeling like we have to do everything may be an unintended consequence of the feminist movement, which has taught us that we can do anything. For (privileged) women, the array of opportunities we’re presented with — much broader than even a few decades ago — can be a double-edged sword.

Other bloggers deal with this, too. I have deep respect for Melissa’s and RMJ’s decisions to take some time off, decisions that, unfortunately, may have induced feelings of guilt. And I admired Kate’s post about refusing to feel guilty for being a busy person with many passions.

Sometimes I think of my feminism as two intertwined struggles: feminism for women, which I fight for through my pro-choice volunteering, blog writing and reading, and club-running, among other acts; and feminism for me, which may need some prioritizing. This kind of feminism is me encouraging myself to take a break, to relax with my family and friends, to cook for myself, to nap, to read, to say NO when I’m overwhelmed, to stop doing everything, to stop trying to be perfect by setting more compassionate and realistic goals.

Just some things to think about.