I’ve got a Monster headache

March 28, 2009 § 5 Comments

monsterassaultYou know what sucks? When you’re waiting in a deli while your boyfriend buys a Red Bull and you notice this gem of a beverage. And you realize that these marketers probably spent a great deal of money doing research to decide what to call their latest product. And that a drink named ASSAULT must have appealed to their target audience, or else the word wouldn’t be slapped onto millions of cans with a camouflage background.

Once more, with feeling: stop using violent words (and imagery) to sell your product. There’s a problem when I hear people looking into the cooler and saying, “Oh man, I would kill for some Assault right now” or “I can’t get enough Assault!”

The idea of assault gives me energy, all right – energy to get really fucking angry and give this company a piece of my mind. Tell Monster to stop making violent crimes lively and trendy.

§ 5 Responses to I’ve got a Monster headache

  • Amelia says:

    (Found you on Feministe)

    Good call. I try to stay away from energy drinks, but last term at school I worked at the convenience store on campus and I often had to stock Monster drinks. And I remember one in particular was a coffee + energy drink called “Loca Moca.” Yeah, just because it’s not in English doesn’t mean it’s not ableist.

    But Assault? Really? Ugh. I am sick of the horrible ploys companies use to sell their products. And, like you said, the target audience obviously buys into this…

  • […] Uh, have you all seen the new Quiznos ad? Where the oven is talking and tells a Quiznos worker to “put it in me?” I’m sure there is some clever critique to be made about this, but I just don’t have the energy for it at the moment. Relatedly, Women’s Glib has some thoughts on Monster’s new “Assault” energy drink. […]

  • […] 1, 2009 · No Comments (Not to be confused with “I’ve got a Monster headache.”) An obnoxiously misogynistic ad from Dubai for Emami pain balm. Because, you know, us bitchez get […]

  • Molly says:

    Hmm…I don’t really see how this ties into sexual assault or other violent crimes, I think they were trying to go for the military-style motif, hence the army camouflage on the can.

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